Thursday, August 16, 2012

The Reading Tutor

Recently at an estate sale, I noticed a framed picture on the wall over a couch. I liked the subject matter, so I took a closer look. The price tag said "Framed print, $45." -The only thing is, it looked like an original oil to me. The picture looked really well executed so it made sense to assume that it was a print. I removed it from the wall, took off my glasses and took a close look. Brush strokes.

I decided to take a flyer and get it. As soon as I paid cash for it, I felt buyers remorse. Was it just a print or what? Here's where I made a mistake. I had noticed a bookish, professorial picker in line and took him aside and asked him for his opinion. "This is a print with a finish applied to it to make it appear like an original." He and his wife gave me a sympathic nod and wished me good luck with it. "$45 for the print isn't bad," he said.
Trust your gut over the opinions of others. Maybe he hoped to psyche me out and get it from me for cheap. I took it home and examined it closely under a magnifying glass under good light. What do you think?


R. Branson-Lilywhite VI said...

Definitely paint-by-numbers.

Anonymous said...

I think the kid is fantasizing about blondie and not actually looking at the book...but the piece itself looks like an oil painting. Nice find, Mr. Trad.

Clete Bowen said...

That looks an awful lot like my momma. I'll give you $45 for it.

Crozet Metropolitan Museum of Art and Good Home Cookin' said...

Might you consider contributing that to our museum?

Trailer Trad said...

Mr. Branson-Lilywhite,

Never trust the art appraisals of men with hyphenated last names.


In many public schools, that would make him a candidate for Ritalin, unfortunately.

Mr. Bowen,

It seems that you are I are alike in that we both have attractive mommas. But, alas, I fear that you are also like me in that we get our looks from our dads. :(

CROMAG* Aquisitions staff,

Sure, hit up the Carnegies and Mellons for the small stuff but hit up Ol' Man Trad for the big score!

*Crozet Museum and Garage

Russian Trader left this comment that I accidentally deleted in Blogger:
I would be glad to use special patented Lazer Spektometer that I have invented to analyze this painting. Only $2500 fee.

Russian Trader,

Great! I'll take it! Wait, this isn't like those autographed size 14 Maria Sharapova Nikes is it?

Siberian Smuggler said...

THe Sharapova tennis shoes are fakes. Maria Sharapova wears size 13. I like painting of buxom lady in babushka. I will pay top dollar. Call me.

The Ghost of Felix Rohatyn said...

The suspense is killing me, is it a real painting or some sort of brush-stroked print? For pete's sake, Mr. Trad, don't leave us hanging.

Jeri said...

I have no idea if it is authentic or not, But I am so hoping you found a treasure! Please post your conclusions. I just discovered your blog, and it is really fascinating.


Trailer Trad said...


The piece is an original oil painting, I'm happy to report.


Welcome aboard! I think that your term "fascinating" really suits this blog; especially its commenters.
I can imagine Jane Goodall stooping in the deep forests of Uganda watching gorillas interacting for the first time and whispering to herself, "fascinating."

Uncle Cletus said...

I resent that Jane Goodall remark.

Uncle Cletus said...

By the way these CAPTCHAs are getting very difficult! Pretty soon you're going to need a high IQ to comment here.

The Ghost of Felix Rohatyn said...

I wholeheartedly agree with Uncle Cletus. Heck, I pulled NYC from the brink of bankruptcy, practically invented the hedge fund, and have chaired some of the world's largest investment banks, yet 90% of the time I have no idea what on earth these rednecks are talking about.

Anyway, I sure am glad to hear to hear your painting is the real deal. If you don't sell it to that Siberian fellow, you should consider a gift to the Metropolitan Museum of Art...or McSorleys.

Beaver & Otter Society Lodge Master said...

Forget the MMA! You should put on display in your old stomping grounds at the Beaver & Otter Hall!

Anonymous said...

Are you required to leave the room when someone says "Beaver and Otter"?

Anonymous said...

I just purchased a Beaver & Otter pocket square at J. Press. When the salesman asked if I was a member of the society, I punched him squarely in the face.

BTW I am going to see NRBQ tonight at McCarren Park with a special Eastern Bloc friend. Wish me luck.

X. Diletante said...

NRBQ has not been the same since Big Al left the band in the mid-90s. Save your rubles.

Gunther said...

What is the Beaver and Otter Society?

Anonymous said...

Beaver & Otter. Sounds........exclusive......

Crawdaddy said...

What th'? I just got a CAPTCHA that said "Rednek 63"! That your idea of a joke?

Trailer Trad said...

B&O Lodge Master,

I would hang it in the lodge but the secret entrance at the feet of the Smithsonian Museum elephant is locked. I recite "The tusks are long but not sharp" to it yet nothing happens.

Anon 5:12,

No. You leave the room when someone declares "Industria et Otium" ("Industry and Leisure").

Anon 11:28,

You did the right thing. The J. Press guys are cool but we must obey Rule XXIII, Subsection C mustn't we?

Monsieur Dilettante,

And pro wrestling hasn't been the same since Capt. Lou Albano retired.


It all boils down to Industria et Otium. -Now, everyone leave the room.

Anon 1:26,

If some beavers and otters held a lodge meeting in the forest and didn't invite anyone else, were they being exclusive or were they just too lazy to send out more invites?


Take your complaint up with the B&O Lodge Master.