Saturday, May 19, 2012

Play Badminton!

This summer, take a stand for gentility and play badminton. Stake out a proper playing area on a flat, grassy knoll underneath cool shade trees. Step off official 'lines' and regulation net height. Set up a proper refreshment station with Plymouth gin G&Ts and cold, cold Schlitz. -Cream colored flannels, tennis sweater and Jack Purcelles are optional.
I uncovered this old badminton set from the 1950s at a recent church renovation sale. It never ceases to amaze me what can lie, perfectly preserved, for decades in forgotten attics and closets. A complete set, it contains a number of interesting items. Aside from the beautiful wooden racquets, it also contains wooden poles with stakes as well as the original official rules booklet.

No made in China crap here. These sticks were made in Belgium.
To prepare for the friendly contest of badminton, it might be useful to consult the pamplet for some guidence on proper form and strokes. -How awkward to be caught using improper strokes on the badminton court!


Anonymous said...

a flat knoll?

Buck Hunter said...

Nobody - except, perhaps, for Jim Dandy - enjoys saying the word "shuttlecock" more than me.

It'd be cool if I knew someone who owned a farm in rural Virginia - a place big enough to accomodate a badminton court and a proper beverage station.

Trailer Trad said...

Anon 11:32,

I’m glad you noticed “flat knoll.” A flat knoll is a fairly rare topographical feature but perfect for badminton. It’s basically a hill that’s flat on top. Perhaps the best pop-culture example is from 1977’s Close Encounters of the Third Kind which showed aliens landing on the flattened mountain Devil’s Tower National Park.

If it sounds like I’m recommending driving to Wyoming to play badminton on top of Devil’s Tower, it’s because I am. But beware a close encounter of the fourth kind while playing badminton. That’s when the mother ship descends from the heavens with aliens wanting ‘next.’ –Don’t play them because anyone who can navigate interstellar worm holes can surely apply sick spins to the shuttlecock.

Buck Hunter,

Someone in VA with a farm large enough for healthful pursuits such as badminton? I'll drink a cold SCHMIDT, er, Schlitz to that!

Ernest Cubbage-Shiflett said...

Game on! See you at the flat knoll.

X. Diletante said...

In the event that you subscription to "Shuttlecock" magazine has expired, Jim Dandy played professional badminton in Kyrghistan for years after college. He has taken an unwitting opponent's lunch money on many a Sunday afternoon.

Anonymous said...

Does a proper beverage station include bourbon or Red White and Blue?

Anonymous said...

Sorry trailer trad, the aliens didnt land on the top of the flat knoll. Check ur facts.

Trailer Trad said...

Mr. Shiflette,
Challenge accepted. But if you arrive wearing any Underarmour or Live Strong bracelets, you will be politely asked to find something else to wear.

Mr. Diladente,
You raise a good point. Mr. Dandy is well traveled, savvy and posesses many and varied talents. If he were to ever challenge you to a friendly wager or manly game of skill, politely decline.

Anon 4:07,
Red, White & Blue is not permitted. For more, see my Dec. 26, 2011 post.

Anon 5:29,
Thanks for the correction because, as you can tell from my previous comment, I only deal in facts.

eduardo said...

When exactly is the 2012 Flat Knoll Badminton Tournament? I'd like to purchase some tickets.

Uncle Cletus said...

Jim Dandy Took $23 from me in a croquet game last year.

CCBC said...

Mr. Trad: The Crozet Croquet & Badminton Club will attend the 2012 Flat Knoll Tournament.

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't Cubbage-Shiflett be like Hatfield-McCoy?

Buck Hunter said...


South Will Rise Again said...

Jim Dandy is a badminton sharp, he took so much money off of them Central American gang kids that he had to be in protective custody for the last couple years of his dime hitch in Reidsville.

What's going on Eduardo? It's been a long time, brother. Sorry to hear about Stretch, I thought pythons lived much longer, too.

Anonymous said...

I would definitely be interested in drinking a few cold Schmidts and getting some badminton (or skeet) going.

Of course, we'd need to officially name this op. How about "Old Dogs, Smoldering Logs, Bourbon and Shuttlecock." Hmmm, maybe not, but we're just brainstorming, right?

Trailer Trad said...

Jim Dandy,

I’m sorry Mr. Dandy but I deleted your comment. Your insights were so valuable that I couldn’t bear to share them with Xavier and the others. So I greedily hoarded them and for that I feel shame.


The ink was dry on the invitations but we were informed that it conflicted with the London Olympics. We caved because their navy conscripts and we wanted no part of it.

Uncle Cletus,

Dear Uncle. It’s been too long. You raised me like one of your own.
-And I’ll never forgive you for it.


I hate you and your madras bandannas. I rue the day that you gain a few more members and then can rightfully call yourselves ‘The Crozet Eighty Eights’ (obscure Kill Bill Vol. 1 reference).

Anon. 9:08,

Hailing from Catalpa, I can tell you that compared to Cubbages and Shiffletts, the Hatfields and McCoys were like a dance team on Dancing with the Stars.

Anon. 12:22,

I like the way you think!

Jim Dandy said...

No need to feel shame, Mr. Trad, I just wanted someone to know the know they're still watching me, don't you?


Jim Dandy said...

And, by the way, Clete, I took more than a few bucks...I took your self-respect.

Shameless self-promotion: Check out an all new "Dog Island People" on the History Channel.

P. Onca Palustris said...

Damn....I knew we left someone behind on Dog Island. Sorry about that Cletus.