Words to Live By

"Time to grow up, shut up, and play rugby. Anything besides you touching the ball down in the try zone or tackling someone disgusts me. I'm done talking."

-The wisdom of Dave Steckler, coach of the Mother's at Cherry Blossom Festival, spring 1995. That day, UMW beat Penn State 25-5.

Trailer Trad: The Rugby Years

I'm a rugby player. While it's true that I haven't actually played in many years (I do want to be able to walk into work on Monday mornings, after all) once a rugger, always a rugger. The importance of camaraderie, fitness and teamwork that were instilled those days on the pitch you don't shake very easily. Nor should you.

That's me in the official Mothers Rugby kit during the club's second or third season. We had solid navy jerseys first then we made the big move to 'reverse quarters' jerseys. Later that season, I designed the shield design that still is worn today by both men's and women's teams. -Looking back, it was probably my biggest contribution to the club.

I was never that good really. But, somehow, I managed to play and contribute in my fashion. The players and Dave the coach were good to me and I gradually improved enough to where I think that I was almost an average player on a very good team.

How did I get involved with rugby? How do guys get involved in the French Foreign Legion? Girl trouble. Being pissed. I was in such a mood one day walking through campus when I happened to see a bunch of rag tag guys playing what looked like 'smear the guy with the ball' (or something to that effect). Turns out that was one of the rugby club's first practices. Pob Rike was an equipment dealer who always had a bag of mismatched leftover jerseys in his trunk. Most guys didn't have any proper ones so we all bought those. They were thick cotton oldschool Maxmore jerseys made in South Africa. Greens, yellows, stripes, solids, hoop patterns on the sleeve. Some were torn to bits. Most were filthy. Yet, even though we had no uniform during those first practices, I knew that we were already a team.

About half way through that first practice, 'fun time' was over. We were then introduced to what rugby practice was all about; fitness. I was not very fit or very strong. I really never was because I was a tennis player and even though I was on the college varsity tennis team, fitness was never emphasized back then. Rugby was different and we were introduced to that during those first few practices. Line up for wind sprints. Line up for passing drills. We ended up the practice with having to carry a fellow player in our arms in relay races. I was left with a barrel of a guy who become our hooker. He was a big hooker and weighed like he was made of concrete. As a lay on the ground praying to vomit, I knew that I would quit the tennis team immediately.

Think Dudes Don't Dance? Ladies and Gentleman, I Present The Haka

Do you hate the Macarena? The Cotton Eyed Joe...The Electric Slide...Achy Breaky Heart? All of these travesties have cast long, agonizing shadows over wedding receptions for thirty years. They did over mine. This was despite my hiring a legit, Southern DJ known for his repertoire of shaggin' tunes and Southern Rock that was to be my gift to the Bride's family flying in to The Hunt Country from Green Haahbaah and Duxbury. If you're like me, you probably think there is no situation where dudes would score guy points for dancing in unison. In which case, you'd be wrong.

These examples of All Black performances are all fairly rare because they feature opposing teams also doing their renditions of the Polynesian ritual. Tonga, Fiji, Samoa and others all have similar traditions but since it is New Zealand's trademark, they largely leave it alone. Tonga does a good job but the players are left admiring the masters at it. The next video is great because it shows how the performance welcomes dignitaries to their countries.

The Haka is really just one example of these types of dances. In truth, they are known throughout the Pacifac and can be dances of celebration and welcome too. In the next video, The Maori king has dancers perform it for their visitors. Notice how it is customary to react grimly to it. The All Blacks coach has his best sour face on. "This tribe is powerful. We should get back into our war canoes and return to our own island", his expression seems to say. To not do so would be like going on a diplomatic mission and laughing at the parade of tanks rolling by. Bad form. Notice how even small Kiwi boys have this countenance when watching the Maori Haka!

This one is just really good. I especially love the 'Gene Simmons Kiss' rolling tongue with the eyes bugging out. Awesome!